Believing in yourself is a concept that seems pretty crazy to me. I don't mean to be flippant but when thoughts about believing in yourself arise, it implies disconnection, doubt and separation from who you are. And, the crazy part is seeing yourself as different people.
How has this happened?
Consider this for a moment, if you spend a lot of time being taken unconsciously here and there like a space traveller by your chattering mind focusing on things that are not real because they have already happened and are just memories or haven't happen yet, then yes, believing in yourself is a tricky thing to do. Why? Because you're not actually focusing on the 'real self in the here and now moments of life. The body is present, the breath is present, the spirit is present. It's the mind that goes wandering into the past and the future and fixating on things that are not real. How can you believe in a self that's in the past or future and deal with an identity that may not be real?
So, in many ways it's not your fault that you have trouble believing in yourself when you are rarely connected with who you are,
When the mind aligns with the body and spirit and all are together and you are conscious in the present moment and experiencing who you are moment to moment there is no need for believing in yourself. Why?
Because when you are present you are connected with the infinite force and the eternal spirit within. You know who and what you are – a spirit in human form – and are not thinking or having an opinion about the self. There is oneness with spirit. There is knowing 'myself' and no need for a belief about it.
I have found that when believing in myself comes up, it's always thoughts ravaging my mind. Like ghosts they move here and there and spin and twist constantly changing form and my perspective on myself.
You see, self belief is a mental perception, a concept, that takes place in relation to an other something or someone. It is a perspective that can create separation from yourself and develop into a view of self that limits and restricts your capacity to change, expand and find flow in life personally and professionally.
What's it like to believe in yourself?
Believing in yourself comes from within and is a deep connection with spirit and a knowing that you are not your mind and body but a spirit residing in the human body. My experience of this spirit is of unfathomable depth, peace, feeling blissed out and beingness. It's difficult to put into words but this spirit feels unshakable, fathomless, limitless. It's inside the bounds of the physical body yet feels boundless. There is oneness and no need for belief, for thinking or having an opinion or belief about yourself because as you are experiencing yourself at a deeply profound level and there is no doubt.
Why is believing in yourself important? When there is doubt about yourself and a need for 'believing in myself' there is disconnection. It's a clarion call for change. A desire to get back to self instead of being in the mind and trying to grasp ghost-like identities that don't exist/are not real. They are created by the mind and mostly with a negative bias. When you are connected with the force within you feel centred and strong and courageous. It's like you can do anything. You:
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Consciously take on new challenges.
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Feel empowered and pumped up with energy.
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Feel super confident.
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Trust in your ability to accomplish goals.
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Have faith in yourself and the power to transcend obstacles.
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Have clarity about who you are, warts and all, and who you want to become.
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Have a clear vision of what you desire.
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Seek inner guidance to come up with creative solutions to challenges or problems.
And, not believing in yourself – what does that suggest?
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Self doubt.
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Feeling that you can't do/have/be what you desire.
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Seeing other people as better or more capable of achieving than you.
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Wanting to be someone else or hiding out.
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Worrying about what others think and letting their opinions take precedence over your wishes.
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Staying in your comfort zone and failing to take action or seek out and take advantage of opportunities.
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Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling/thinking that you are lacking.
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Having no clear vision or goals for your life, not knowing what you want or the direction to take in life/work and misinterpret this is not believing in yourself.
If you lack clarity of vision and purpose this can leave you feeling rudderless and directionless and not believing in yourself creeps in often like a thief in the night.
You lose clarity and self belief when the monkey mind prevails. There is a sense of wanting to fixing something. Often we start to search outside for answers. Start doing what others want or think we should be doing. We focus on pleasing others and may even let go of our dreams.
While it can be helpful to seek the advice and counsel of parents, friends and mentors ultimately you must trust yourself and have faith in your own counsel, authority, capabilities and inner wisdom. Do your research and make informed decisions. Any mistakes that you make are part of growing and developing and you will have stretched yourself and left the comfort zone behind.
Wanting self belief suggests the desire for change, to have an identity overhaul, to make a shift into an unknown state or reconnect with the state of adventure, possibilities and probabilities that is no longer being experienced or felt.
The good thing is that you realise and accept the current situation as it is (not 'believing in myself') and this is the starting point for change.
Six Tips for Believing in Yourself
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Do your inner work. Go within by meditating for at least 10 – 20 minutes daily. This is training to be present more and more, to create the conditions for the mind to quieten and the space for connecting with spirit (self) and feeling good.
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Create a clear vision of what you would like to have happen in your life. Schedule time in your diary to sit in a quiet and inspirational space and visualise who you want to be and what you want without knowing how it will happen. Get creative and document your vision by producing a vision board.
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Get clear about the talents, gifts and capabilities that make you stand out and will boost your confidence. Remember that you are unique – there is no one exactly like you on the planet.
Seek out the knowledge, skills and support that will help you to grow personally and professionally. With technology the world is changing very quickly so be a lifelong learner. Keep upgrading your skills and learning new things. If you become out of touch or your skills are eroded this can affect your self belief.
Pause for a moment, now.
Bring into your conscious awareness something that you do really, really well. What is that talent? Smile and pat yourself on the back for doing this thing so extraordinarily well.Maybe you are magnificent at coming up with new ideas or projects or fantastic at sales and marketing or superb at helping people to excel or great at connecting people or wonderful at customer service or really good at research and project management or fantastic at shifting through and analysing data or teaching, training, dancing, cooking, painting, performing, leading people...
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Take small steps daily/weekly to move towards your vision or goals. Write that email, make that phone call, register for that course, read that book, write that proposal. Step out of your comfort zone by taking simple actions. Create smaller goals that take you towards your vision to reduce any sense of overwhelm. Make sure that they stretch you while being achievable. Start doing little things that are aligned with believing in yourself and creating the new identity that you seek.
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Seek feedback from the right people like a mentor, accountability partner or someone who believes in you more that you believe in yourself and will support you through thick and thin. Make sure that the feedback you receive is evidence-based – what worked well, didn't work so well and could be done better and differently. Set yourself a small measurable task for what you would like to have happen next and keep setting new development tasks as the current one is achieved.
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Celebrate each goal that you achieve or milestone that you reach. Smile, dance, jump for joy and embody that feeling of success and a task well done. Yippee! You made that phone call that you were dreading making and got your result. Treat yourself to something that you love/enjoy. Buy a celebratory gift, soak in a luxurious scented bath, book a massage, go out to dinner, have some chocolate, go for a walk in the park – whatever is a celebration for you.
Believing in yourself is a journey of self awareness, self discovery and walking step by step into the unknown. You will likely have to move out of your comfort zone. If lack of self belief is an obstacle to taking a baby step into the unfamiliar then this is where you need to put your attention so that you can uncover what's preventing you from taking that step.
You will likely have to quell your inner (mind) critic and let go of limiting beliefs in order to leave your comfort zone/develop self belief. Self belief often develops through taking action, having new experiences, trusting your inner guidance/wisdom.
Feeling the fear and doing it anyway may not move you forward as there may be aspects of your internal system that want to stay the same and stop you from taking action. The reptilian brain is primed for survival and safety trumps risk when it comes to survival. Find out what you are gaining from the comfort zone that serves you in some way. Is it worth staying there?
How can you move forward?
Ask yourself: 'What would you like to have happen?' as a way to move towards a desired outcome. I have found that clients often struggle to answer this question. We have a negative bias in our thinking and often want to focus on what isn't working because we know a lot about that. Switching your attention to an outcome and through that process moving towards a task that results in your growth will over time move you towards being who you would like to be.
Keep developing your self awareness and ability to be present and in the moment so you build a strong relationship with spirit.
If you would like an easy way to discover what your talents are that takes minutes to do, then I have a special Halloween offer for you to take a tried and tested profile test called Talent Dynamics. You have a talent inside you and when you are using it enough it is a vehicle for being yourself, having self belief and feeling liberated.
There are similar elements within Talent Dynamics and popular psychometric tests, as they all have a common modern origin in Carl Jung’s work on archetypes. But Talent Dynamics is different in that it provides an intuitive structure, practical strategies, modern role models and a link back to the roots of profiling 5,000 years ago.
Knowing and understanding your profile means that you can organise your time to focus on what you do best and love most. When you do this, your effectiveness and fulfilment increase and stress and struggle decrease. When you're doing something that you are naturally talented at you will feel energised, productive and efficient.
If you are an employee, business owner, team leader or curious about your talents and how you can uniquely add value, create trust and make your mark in the world, this test is for you.
Your special introductory Halloween offer:
Option 1 - Take the test for £50. Normal investment is $97 approximately £75. I've trained and joined as a partner to provide this profile test and can offer it at a reduced investment. Once you take the test you will receive a detailed report to read.
Please click here to book your test.
Option 2 – Test, detailed report and 60-minute debrief with me. Total investment £245. If you are keen to increase your self belief, the debrief will help you to start to move forward towards transformational change (a small step). Often the way that we look at things or things that we are not doing create issues and reduced self belief but we may not realise that this is the case.
Please click here to book your test.
With the debrief your assumptions come into your conscious awareness, with questions from me, they are challenged and you come to the realisation that there are new ways to look at and do things. This is a paradigm shift and you can make a choice about what to do or not . You'll understand better the true nature of who you are, get more flow and flourish within a business and life.
Halloween Offer expires 31st October. Once you've paid I will send you a token to take the test. Please click here to book your test.
