We all have ingrained behavioural patterns and habits that are so automatic that we are often not aware of them; of what is happening in the moment. These habits are like little trances: we stop thinking. Here, I’m not talking about routines like brushing your teeth, which you do consciously.
One of my habits is doing unnecessary things like watering the plants, just before I need to leave home to get somewhere. I then leave in a mad rush because the twenty minutes that I had, is now only five minutes. For years this was unconscious behaviour for me. Now as soon as I catch myself about to do something that will eat up time and does not need doing, I stop myself by asking: Do you need to do this now? The answer is normally “no”.
Becoming conscious of your habits,especially unhelpful habits, is like bringing light into the darkness of what is unconscious. Once you shine light on something then shifts can happen and you can make changes in your behaviour or thinking, if you want to enough. Try this simple exercise on becoming more aware of habits:
- Start to be more aware of the things you may be doing or thinking or repeating daily. Make a list of things that you repeat every day. Also notice what happens when you become more aware. Do this for a week.
- Then each day the following week, select a habit from the list.
- At the end of each day, find a time and place where you can be alone. Relax and breathe deeply. Take the habit and ask yourself the following questions:
- What’s the first thing that happens?
And then what happens? What are you seeing/hearing/feeling that lets you know this habit is taking place?
What happens next? - What would someone else notice when this habit is taking place? What would they see or hear?
And what do you know now? - Record the answers in a journal and review your journal at the end of the week. What do you notice? What do you know now that you didn’t know before? And what difference does knowing that make? What could you do to stop yourself?
Are there habits that support the outcomes that you desire? Which ones are they? And, habits that don’t support your desired outcomes? Jut them do.
